There is no definitive description of a batterer. He may come from any economic, ethnic, racial or religious background. He may be well-educated and successful. There are, however, some similarities among batterers.

Most men who batter have themselves been the victims of, or have witnessed, violence and abuse while they were growing up. But countless men who have had troubled and violent childhoods do not abuse their partners. The batterer can choose an alternative to engaging in violent behavior.

The message that a man can beat his partner, even kill her, and get away with it, has been reinforced by the media and by our legal system. It is not surprising that many abusive men do not fear repercussions or reprisals.

Most batterers are extremely jealous and possessive and feel they have the right to control their partners’ lives. They frequently blame their partners instead of taking responsibility for their own actions.

Our society promotes the image of men as providers, protectors, powerful, independent and always in control. Men are socialized and conditioned to the idea that violence is an acceptable means of gaining and maintaining power and control, and as a way of settling disputes.

Our culture often portrays women as weak, needy, indecisive, manipulative, emotionally unstable, sexual predators and sex objects. Most damaging to both women and men are the casual depictions of women as victims of violence and brutality, and as needing - and wanting - to be controlled by men.

As long as a batterer will not accept responsibility for his actions, seeks to place blame elsewhere, and/or denies there is any problem, the violent behavior will continue.

Only the batterer can stop the violence.